whiteLim.bic

what a lonely sight.

one single tree sandwiched between a number of shitty entertainment facilities. Inspired architectural planning.

another stunning piece of slow motion footage from a forthcoming BBC show

i'm glad i took the opportunity to run through a wall, now I can wipe my ass with my left hand.

I'm sooooo excited about my next acting gig...

..although it's a tough one.

  

This whole thing begins to feel a little disneyish. A fake at every level.  This is a shame really because the first execution wasn't too bad (although whoever did the posters needs shooting) if you took  it at face value. 

Now it just feels like visiting a tittybar for the second time - I've just fekin caught on that there ain't nothing goin on but the rent.  

very smart.

c'mon, stop being a fuckin cynic. it's good.

why is the advertising industry full of insecure lemmings?

And can you remember DIY Jack? 

I love disrupting a game of scrabble by trying to use made-up words. I hate the game though.

Which is a little like their latest ads courtesy of Ogilvy Paris.  Not to sure if they actually ran and whilst there are three different executions, I've only posted the one.  The one I like. The other two are totally fuckin mind bending and seem to bring on nasty flashbacks.  If I see them again I will shit myself. 

I recommend that you don't look for them either otherwise this might happen to you.

Anyway, here's the one I do like.  It's a little slower paced than the others but the animation is pretty cool.

You'll either love them or hate them.

Strike...

from here

Slow my mos

spotted this on ITIABTWC and it's pretty awesome (a different kind of awesome from comparing, say, erm, a man riding a lion). 

And no later than five minutes I stumbled on this over  here
New York 2008 from Vicente Sahuc on Vimeo.

So add in this from Spike Jonez ...

And suddenly you've got a festival of all things slow.

Fuck Second Life, this looks the nuts...

Amazing 3D immersion technology from IDEO Labs on Vimeo.

Amazing

yiiiiiiii hhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Reports say the scene in front of the studios is still littered with high heel shoes, ripped sleeping bags and trampled resumes.

Is this an Improv stunt?

thinking about...

1. the resurgence in fast food and what that says about the efficacy of recent healthy eating campaigns.  

2. what privacy actually means, if anything at all.   

3. whether they'll show Jade dying on TV.

 

getting distracted by these...

There's a deathly silence and it's not going away...

I'm struggling to find the time to put together any new posts at the moment as I'm committed to finishing my business plan which I started, urm, ahem, about 2 - 3 years ago.  But not tonight.  Tonight it's football, masturbation and the malignant David Pleat - the perfect antidote for any mid-week blues.   

*UPDATE* It was going well until Halifax patronised me, Cadbury's freaked me the fuck out and Iggy  Pop reminded me to sort my insurance before the babylon come knocking.  

If like me you've just had to endure that triumvirate of hell cheer yourselves up with this holy trinity;

The evolution of shoe rests according to my wife

 

I wonder if Odyssey picked his nose?

The number of times I get lost in a moment in any given day is unbelievable; thus the amount of time spent picking my nose over a 24 hours period is fuckin freaky. Of course this only happens because 99.99% of my living breathing life is spent thinking about the next command I should bestow upon my small weathered fingers as they hover aimlessly over a qwerty keyboard.  And that's when it strikes. For I'm not a man who's drawn to his scrotal sack for comfort or inspiration, no siree, my hands head straight up to heaven as I use my thumbnail and forefinger to gently scratch the inside of my nostril scrapping away any loose debris.  I repeat this process until I reach a satisfying climax, swiftly move on to the other and so forth. Well actually, if I get to so forth it means I've been reduced to scratching my arse like a flea ridden baboon, but that's for another day.      

I've got no excuse for this disgusting habit which not only unsettles the unlucky few who've been drawn to my actions like a moth to a flame but has also fucked up my korean laptop.  There's so much nasal mucus built up in between the keys that the operational sensitivity and performance has been severely compromised.

Anyway, what do you get when you cross realisation with time - a voyage of discovery. And that's what we've got here, a voyage into the nose.

Dr Chittaranjan Andrade and Dr BS Srihari  have identified that even though nose picking is quite normal it can also, if practised by disturbed individuals, be chronic, violent and associated with nosebleeds. What's more 'persons do eat nasal debris, and find it tasty, too'.  It is a classless act carried out in all walks of life (although 4% of students apparently never pick their nose, no guesses where they study) with most preferring to use their fingers while a select few opt for specialists instruments such as tweezers or, erm, pencils (award winning creatives?).  I could go on but it would be a criminal injustice to not read their full Ig Nobel Prize winning report here. And while you're at it check out the aptly titled "Life threatening self-mutilation of the nose". 

But that my dear friends, is nothing.  Nothing compared to this little nugget of insight.  

The SA in MRSA refers to a fungus type bacterial animal that resides in the end of your nose and can be spread through picking? Honestly. Which means *step back *sit down*  my large penis shaped nose is in fact a lethal weapon, a malevolent force, an agent of death, the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse. 

Oh by the way, I skim read the article and with my education it's highly likely I misread a key fact and therefore probable that this whole thing is a load of pointless baloney. 

What's in a Saatchi?

Hoffman York are a midwest American advertising agency that achieved a certain level of notoriety when they managed to cut themselves free from the poisonous tentacles of Saatchi & Saatchi.  Packing a Paul Kersey nasty ass punch, they blasted the army of darkness straight back to London Town.  And of course with a twist that feels like an Audley Harrison fight, Hoffman go on to better things and Saatchi & Saatchi, well, they tried to buy a brummy bank.

Clearly a major milestone in Hoffman's history, Tom Jordan (ECD) of Hoffman York decided to record the events in an ok book called 'What's in a Saatchi and how come we have two of them?'. 

So anyway, let's fast forward a few years and see how Hoffman are getting on.  With a 'non-jerk' recruitment policy (one of their many memorable mantras) I'm expecting big things. 

And I'm not dissapointed. You see, old HF have developed a penchant for original music which deserves to be heard by all.   

 

Now I know these are Christmas songs and you could excuse this kind of gaydom during the festive season. Give me a few eggnogs and put me in an agency with a a no-jerk policy and I'd belt out Happy Hannukah all day long. But I'm afraid it gets worse. Visit their website now to hear the latest single from Hoffman productions.

"How can you win at life when others want to play so rough".

Like I said. Audley Harrison.

I really hate myself for working in advertising. 

Running to stand still.

I'm not ashamed to admit I've always liked U2.  Their live shows are behemothic spectacles to behold and every time a new album comes out I develop an unhealthy obsession towards their back catalogue, in particular rare recordings of their gigs.  At the moment I'm listening to Vertigo Detroit and it struck me that advertising agencies are very much like U2.  

Every three years or so U2 manage to change their sound, their look, and their feel without actually changing anything.  Eye liner one year giant lemon the next; fuck knows what it will be this year.  With every new album comes talk of something different, groundbreaking shows and fresh perspective; but above all this desire to avoid the Rolling Stones model of non-stop greatest hits tours.

A bit like U2, advertising agencies  haven't really done anything new for the past 30 years and yet they're obsessed with presenting themselves as being fresh, innovative and different. They regularly invest in a new shiny metallic exterior which is nothing but skin deep transparent hyperbole and no-one seems to really mind. How I wince when they start talking about creating lP, licensing deals and other similar tonka toys and yet ironically still list themselves under 'Advertising Agencies' in the yellow pages! Of course clients drive this perpetual madness by demanding agencies bring something new to the table without actually understand the business problem themselves - even though they've just concluded a 6 month review/research/test/debrief/workshop/research/audit/anal busting soul destroying mind numbing process. Instead of listening to the organisations that have shaped their brands, they tune into to anything that's new and believe heaven, is actually twitter.

I haven't got a problem with this, really, whatever floats you boat, but wouldn't it be nice for everyone in in the industry to take the Rolling Stones approach; drop the baubles, roll out some simple classics, pick up a cheque, chill out and tell them to fuck off.

We are running to stand still.

courtesy of Afflicted Yard

Move like a butterfly. Sting like a bee.

courtesy of Afflicted Yard